He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
