You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
