Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
