Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
