Everything about him screamed your future.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
