I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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