i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
