She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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