btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
