so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
