he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
