Duck Duck Cougar?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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