ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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