Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
