people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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