CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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