A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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