How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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