if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
