the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
