I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
