I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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