Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
