Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
