I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize