No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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