Your face is a jimmy john
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize