You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
