Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
