he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize