No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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