While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
