Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
