We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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