Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
