She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
