so that wasnt chicken after all
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
