I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
