She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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