so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize