We got so high we made milksteak
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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