we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
