my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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