i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
