I faked an abortion last night.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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