I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
