help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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