Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
