Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
