When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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