wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
