That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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