This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
one two three fourrrrnication!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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