This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize