Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You did what with his pubic hair?
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