He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm passing your future prison.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
