Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize