my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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