he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize