Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
