Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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