just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
