some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
