She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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