HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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