i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
