it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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