i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
