he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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