I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
