I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
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