sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
