Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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