U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
