My friends, they love my intelligence
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
