I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
