their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
